SCP-773

Item #: SCP-773

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-773 is to be kept in a secure containment locker at Site-77. The default configuration of the locker should include 3 loose lead weights equal to approximately 2.5kg (5 lbs) each in order to keep it level, a large flat space, and a standard issue security padlock sized for a residential door knob. The locker should always remain locked when not in use, and only one item may be stored within its interior.

In addition to the aforementioned containment practices, site personnel are reminded that SCP-773 is to never be touched or handled by unauthorized personnel except when it is being moved from its location. Any attempts to touch an instance of SCP-773 should be reported immediately to a level 4 Scranton Foundation personnel for appropriate handling.

Description: SCP-773 is a light brown Portable Income Tax Return Form 1040-C in book form, with the text on the cover and title page centered in a medium blue font. The cover shows an image of a red pied penguin holding an American flag in one of its feet and a white credit card in the other. The mailing address, title, and copyright information are written as follows:

Penguin Transit Perprofit, Inc. P.O. Box 10585 Boston MA 02205-0585

While SCP-773 can be viewed as a printed blank book, all entries will be void if the ‘DO NOT BEND’ letters are not written across the fore edge of the book. The first line will show up as an unreadable black square where the phrase ‘First Unread Line’ should appear.

The paper within SCP-773 has the same chemical composition as regular United States Postal Service paper. However, it cannot be ripped apart using standard means and attempts to tear it by hand or bending it with a knife have resulted in it bending back into its original shape out of inertia rather than being torn or damaged. Attempts to physically rip it from its position have also failed, though upon removing it from its box without touching it, SCP-773 will flop up and down for several minutes before finally settling itself back down into an upright position again.

If SCP-773 is open to reveal its interior writing area, the typeface used is very small and blunt, with almost no contrast between the lines printed on either side of the text block. It appears to be very difficult to read due to this trait; however, any portion of text printed within this area has proven stretchable when examined under extremely powerful magnification by personnel that are familiar with reading text at small sizes. Scope reading has revealed numerous misspellings and grammatical errors as well as unusual capitalization or punctuation marks that do not exist in standard English usage. All printing in these areas appears to be done by hand and uses what appears to be sharpie paint markers rather than ink or laser printers (though again, all examples located under magnification seem to act out of their own inertia).

Addendum:

On 04/11/1971, SCP-773 was discovered as an unopened box by a postal clerk in the basement of a post office in ████████, Maine. It was addressed to a ‘Mr. James P. Bartle’, whose address had been written in the corner of the back cover and on the front cover. The original recipient had apparently failed to pay the postage on the package, and the local post office had apparently stored the mail in their basement until they could find a new home for it.

SCP-773 was originally contained within a standard mailbox until it was noticed by Foundation personnel that the stamp was still uncancelled after ██ months of being stored there. It was confiscated immediately, with all inquires into its status quarantined and redirected to a Foundation front company for handling.